12th Apr 2014

2 months to the day

The past couple days have been good, not because anything amazing or unusual happened, but because I am feeling healthy! Okay, that is amazing and unusual…

I feel like my old self again. I actually feel happy and energized. i am finding myself smiling when I listen to music and swinging my feet, if I have the chance.
Before I get ahead of myself, I am only on day 8 of the medication. If in 1 month, I feel like myself pre-Asia, then we know that it is working. Oh I so so so hope and pray that it actually does continue to work.

In other news, my classes had presentations this week, which gave me a very light week. I have to work on my 4 hour class, because I want to target their speaking ability. Which, after presentations, I feel as though I have a good handle on the things that I need to work on.
Just so you native English speakers know, the “th” sound in words like “Three” “Thunder” “thought” are EXTREMELY difficult. It actually makes me smile out of pity when students are trying SO HARD that they are not making the noise and are blowing spit and giving themselves a headache. I could spend a full day just working with these students. I want to try to help them so much! So, I am changing and gearing my lessons to help them with the one thing that I can absolutely demolish those grammar-knowing-nazi’s with…pronunciation! I’m going to bring a mirror to class too. They need to see the difference.

In exactly 2 months, I will be flying home and like 24 hours after that, I will be home. Oh, how it seems forever away and yet tomorrow at the same time. Hollan already started to remove things off her walls. I am going to wait till about the last week to do that. How am I going to get everything I want to bring home? Prob by not taking home clothes that I dont need. Like these pants and dingy shirt that I am wearing. New wardrobe in America? I think I deserve it.

The three of us are attempting to plan a trip to Laos. Hollan is the one who is making all the plans. I tapped out  much earlier in the process for lack of energy/desire/joy. But, that has changed…slightly. Do I want to help plan and research? No, not really. But now I actually want to go to visit! :)

On our team, we are going through a debrief session. We are going over how things are changed, how we are changed, etc.

It has been insane to think about how much has actually changed.
We can start at health, my longer hair, that I know a little bit of a new language, etc.
But also, I have gained a great deal of experience and learned quite a bit more. I have Book knowledge and more

I can honestly say that I am walking away from this experience as a completely different person.I am wondering if people are going to notice when I come home. Are they going to say that there is something different? Prob my close friends, but I hope they don’t notice my medical differences!

Tomorrow is going to be a morning with Pancakes and friends and joy. I am headed to bed to rest and finish lesson plans :)

11th Apr 2014



It has been excruciating to deal with it this year. I hate it. Or maybe, I hated it.

My most recent encounters were back to back:
Yesterday morning my heart was hurting as I ended attempts to build a friendship. Never, in my life, have I ever told someone that I am done trying to be their friend. But I am walking away with a thousand weights lifted from my heart.

This morning, I am sitting with a message from a friend back home with a completely different tone that made me think about our current and past relationship. A different weight (that is not as heavy) is put down that says “now what?”

In both of these situations I was 100% vulnerable and it was scary and hard, but I am (at least) satisfied with where I am going with both of these relationships.

Now to add future vulnerability:Actually posting this without hiding it.

11th Apr 2014

Catalina Macaw for New York Magazine


Catalina Macaw for New York Magazine

8th Apr 2014

(Source: worshipgifs)

8th Apr 2014
8th Apr 2014


i can’t stop watching

his hair tho, as the hood flies off



i can’t stop watching

his hair tho, as the hood flies off

8th Apr 2014
30th Mar 2014

Just 2 1/2 months left

It’s been about a month since I started teaching. Brutal. That would be the best description.

The first week was fine. I would like to call it the “learning my classes to gauge the semester” week.
The second week was “Let’s try to conquer this new issue called hypothyroidism while teaching.”
The third week “screw classes, I have a UTI, a fever, and I am not eating”
The fourth week “I want to take this week off, but then I have 2 weeks that I need to make-up and would rather teach while dying then have to make up six 4-hour classes and three 3-hour classes”

Now I am entering week 5: This is the week where I am starting to ask my classes “When are you free so that I can have those make-up classes?
None of my classes have answered yet. It’s not like the school is going to know, but I would feel super guilty if I didn’t reschedule those classes.

Other news:
I have been eating entire meals again, which is nice and I go to the doctors again this week to find out if the medicine that I have been taking for a month is working.

Not much interesting has happened. I am feeling a little lame because it’s just turning into normal, daily things. I eat meals, I spend time with some friends, I get coffee.

It’s normal. Though, I find normal to be just fine. I am happy that it is no longer the chaos of sickness and classes and flights and thinking and schedules. It’s just a day-to-day thing.

I am at that stage where it is getting super close to the date that I return home (leaving June 12th arriving June 13th). It’s going to go by fast and I am okay with that. LET IT COME! But I am not at all in teh stage where I could say I want to be home. I like where I am now. Being here, but knowing that I am going to be home soon. It is a good middle.
My friends back home and I are going to live together next year in PA and we think we found the perfect little apartment to split between 4 people. I am excited to live like an American again, but after this year, I think I am going to live abroad teaching again.
I will have 2 years experience (I will be a volunteer teacher at night in Philly, if I can swing it) and I can apply for those jobs that require “at least 2 years experience.” I am thinking Korea. I like that country, but also South America because I have yet to travel there and I think that it would be awesome to go there. The need is less, but hey, who knows where I will be next :)

14th Mar 2014

Just a few friends.

I now have time to update a bit about the people in my life

This is the friend that we had a bonfire with. This is a good friend of all 3 of us. Keep him in your thoughts as he is wrestling with decisions, about our Father. He is thinking quite deeply about it and we have had several conversations with him about it.

btw- awful photo. My hair looks like Cory, from Boy Meets World (thanks to Little D, I know the character’s name).

This is a photo of my (old) co teacher. We are pretty good friends, we are the same age! It was her birthday a couple weeks ago! She is very open and I am (SHOCKER) not that open, so keep me in mind as I need to be more open and share things with her.

This is the friend that I spend a lot of time with! He is almost always available to hang out (and has a moto, which makes things 100 times easier). His English is low because he studies Japanese, which means that “deep” conversations are just confusing with a lot of explanation, but he knows who we are and our Father speaks in more than English.

If you have time today to think about my friends, please do so! They mean a lot to me :)

14th Mar 2014

It’s been a week

It has been almost a week on this new medication!

Feeling good! Okay, not “good” but better. I am having serious trouble sleeping. Even when I am thoroughly exhausted, I am still awake. I will take that over other issues. Even naps are difficult. I just cannot sleep! It’s messing with me a bit, I think I am cranky and def tired all the time. Pushing through the slow hours is difficult and waking up for 6:15 is getting harder and harder. I keep neglecting to call the doctor. I feel like she will tell me everything I already researched. “Wait a month and then we will go from there.”

I have been teaching for this week, but I cancelled my Monday and Tuesday classes…

oh and

they changed my schedule. SUPER annoying (expected, but annoying). Mainly because I now have a worse time (its a 2-5pm slot) with a new book in a computer room (which is going to change) and Shelby is my new co-teacher. Not that it is bad, but it has its minuses. 1 of those negatives is that we might have to stay and give examinations… Please, no.

I might be on a heightened annoyance from the medication and lack of sleep, but I am kinda upset that I have 3 hours with a new book and worse time and UUUGH, Asia. However, compared to last semester, this should not be nearly as frustrating.

Classes have been well! I have been having fun making my own lesson plans (with Shelby), even though it has been quite the challenge. We have the same “type” of class. So we write our lessons together. Every week is a “where do we start?” kind of a basis. We are just going for it. And now we have a book that we need (relative “need” to Asia, aka we don’t need) to work out of.

There is one class that I have a lot. I get them 7 hours a week (2 different times. a 3 hour and a 4 hour class). I have tried to memorize their names. I took a video so that I can attempt to pronounce them correctly. I think I have about 5 of them memorized so far! Only week 2! They are my favorite class so far (sssshhhh). They basically do everything that I ask them to do. It is wonderful. I think they respect me as a teacher and I respect them as students. It is my smallest class with 28 people (one of my classes has 40 people). They are super attentive and a relief because my class of 40 students is like trying to control mice. They just keep going everywhere, but there is 40 of them. What do I really expect?
Oh, I can also tell you of some of the things I did, but I ran outta time.Maybe later :)